Kick the Balls

Kick the Balls

A Bruising Season in the Life of a Suburban Soccer Coach

Written by:

Additional Formats
  • Paperback
  • ISBN 9780452295391
  • 272 Pages
  • Plume
  • Adult


A “hilarious and utterly irreverent tale” (Irvine Welsh) of a year in the life of an abrasive pee-wee soccer coach

Growing up in Scotland, Alan Black learned that soccer was no mere game; it was a matter of life or death. In this harshly hilarious tale, Black, a Glasglow transplant living in suburban California, coaches the Dragons, a peewee team that proves an embarrassment to his beloved sport. They’re pampered. They’re soft. They’ve been told by their overprotective parents that (gasp!) “winning isn’t everything.” Using drills and bombast, Black attempts to whip the team into shape.

Kick the Balls is a sidesplitting memoir of grass stains and free kicks, a no-holds-barred account of one man’s bafflement by an alien culture, and a stinging satire of American parenthood. Alan Black’s voice-howling from the sidelines-is that rare thing: a fresh, original, winning comic talent.


“Savagely hilarious.”—Po Bronson, author of What Should I Do with My Life?

“Any suburbanite with kids in organized sports will find Black a riot.”—Publishers Weekly

“A fast-moving mix of game recaps, childhood flashbacks, semi-sincere soul-searching, and politically incorrect analysis of his players’ and their parents’ shortcomings. The author doesn’t spare himself, either, and his self-mockery provides some of the funniest passages in this very funny book.”—Keir Graff, Booklist