- Right now, I don’t need a lecture. I need your love.
- I’m afraid to be real with you.
- When you are so intense, it’s hard to take in what might be valid about what you are saying.
- When you treat me this way, it feels like you don’t respect me. Is that true?
- We need a new perspective. Let’s take a break and each get clearer about what really matters here. Okay?
These flash cards, as well as the book on which they’re based, were first inspired by a particularly angry couples therapy session in which a wife’s unrelenting criticism of her husband was making him more and more emotionally withdrawn. Suddenly, Nancy Dreyfus found herself scribbling on a scrap of paper, “Talk to me like I’m someone you love,” and gesturing to the husband that he should hold it up. He did, and within seconds, the familiar power differential between the two shifted, and a gentler, more genuine connection emerged before all their eyes. Talk to Me Like I’m Someone You Love: Flash Cards For Real Life are a brilliant interactive relationship tool that can help couples stop arguing and begin healing.
“Just about any couple using this material could humanize their relationship.”
—Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want
“Nancy Dreyfus and her flash cards were an inspiration behind our research into the important process of attempting to change the affect during marital-conflict resolution.”
—John Gottman, Ph.D., author of The Relationship Cure
“The most crucial relationship advice book since Men Are from Mars.”
—Erin Meanly, Glamour.com
“Veteran psychotherapist Nancy Dreyfus has written an insightful guide that highlights the power of written messages to diffuse tension and put an end to conflict”